ASSERTIVENESS AND SELF CONFIDENCE
An assertive person is confident and direct in dealing with others. Assertive communications promote fairness and equality in human interactions, based on a positive sense of respect for self and others. It is the direct communication of a person’s needs, wants, and opinions without punishing, threatening, or putting down another person.
Self-confidence plays an important role in our everyday lives. Being confident allows us to set and reach our goals. It provides stability when we are faced with a challenge; it gives us that push that helps us overcome difficulties.
Self-confidence is necessary in our personal and professional lives, as without it one would not be successful in either. It gives us the ability to stand up to face our challenges and to pick ourselves up when we fall.
Lets take a peak at these four styles.
Four Communication Styles
- Passive
- Aggressive
- Passive – Aggressive
- Assertive
The Passive Person
Passive behaviour is the avoidance of the expression of opinions or feelings, respecting others rights, and identifying and meeting others needs. Passive individuals exhibit poor eye contact and slumped body posture and tend to speak softly or apologetically. Passive people express statements implying that:
- I’m unable to stand up for my rights
- I don’t know what my rights are.
- I get stepped on by everyone
- People never consider my feelings
The Agressive Person
An aggressive person communicates in a way that violates the rights of others. Thus, aggressive communicators are verbally or physically abusive, or both.
Aggressive individuals display a low tolerance for frustration, use humiliation, interrupt frequently, and use criticism or blame to attack others. They use piercing eye contact and are not good listeners. Aggressive people express statements implying that:
- The other person is inferior, wrong, and not worth anything
- The problem is the other person’s fault
- They are superior and right
- They will get their way regardless of the consequences
The Passive-Aggresive Person
The passive-aggressive person uses a communication style in which the individual appears passive on the surface, but is really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way.
Passive-aggressive people usually feel powerless, stuck, and resentful. Alienated from others, they feel incapable of dealing directly with the object of their resentments.
Rather, they express their anger by subtly undermining the real or imagined object of their resentments. Frequently they mutter to themselves instead of confronting another person. They often smile at you, even though they are angry, use subtle sabotage, or speak with sarcasm.
Passive-aggressive individuals use communication that implies:
- I’m weak and resentful, so I sabotage, frustrate, and disrupt.
- I’m powerless to deal with you head on so I must use guerrilla warfare
- I will appear cooperative, but I’m not
The Assertive Person
An assertive person communicates in a way that clearly states his or her opinions and feelings, and firmly advocates for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others.
Assertive people value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs. They are strong advocates for themselves — while being very respectful of the rights of others.
Assertive people feel connected to other people. They make statements of needs and feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully. Feeling in control of themselves, they speak in calm and clear tones, are good listeners, and maintain good eye contact. They create a respectful environment for others, and do not allow others to abuse or manipulate them.
The assertive person uses statements that imply:
- I am confident about who I am
- I cannot control others, but I control myself.
- I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point
- I know I have choices in my life, and I consider my options. I am fully responsible for my own happiness.
Gallery
What is Your Communication Style?
Being positive and feeling good about one’s self is the key; you must feel the part. Positivity is a leading factor in one’s self confidence, it will help you keep a feeling of worth. Staying positive will provide you a great asset regarding self-talk and recognising and working with your strengths.
Everyone has weaknesses and by being positive you can recognise your weaknesses and then work on them to lesson to remove them all together.
If you would like to learn more about yourself or get a better picture of how you and others work best, independently and as part of a team